psalm 139 - prayer for Toby

a couple weeks ago --before i knew when i was going back --i was praying for Toby and remembered Psalm 139, a favorite of mine. but rather than read it or pray it for myself, i felt compelled to pray it for him...if it's promised are for me, then they are also for Toby. being separated from my little boy, with no means of providing the love or care i wanna give him right now, and having no control over what happens to him while i'm far away--or even once he is near me, for that matter--it gives me so much comfort knowing that he'll never be separated from his Father in heaven...

psalm 139 - a prayer for Toby

(mommy's paraphrase)

little Toby Rasul, the Lord has searched deep inside you, and He knows you inside out.

He knows when you sit down and when you get up;

He perceives your little thoughts and instincts from where He is.

He monitors you going about your day and lying down at night.

He's familiar with every one of your precious and distinctive ways.

He knows each little word before you whisper it, little Toby.

He protectively surrounds you, Toby, on every side; 

though you haven't even known it, He's had His gentle hand on you 

(it's just too much for you, or even me, to grasp!)

o Lord, how would Toby ever go away from Your Spirit?

Toby, if you could go to the heavens - He'd be there; 

if you have known or know lonely fear or dark despair - He's there!

if you fly away to a home so far from what you know, 

across the sea from your own, 

even here--His hand will guide you! 

you'll find that His right hand has never even let you go, Toby...

if someday, in a cloud of confusion and darkness you say, 

"who am I? where did i come from?" or "i don't belong!"

even there, His light will cut that darkness;

for He's not confused, 

and He will bring you into His beautiful clarity.

because, see--He created your very being, Toby Rasul;

He designed and crafted you in your mother's womb...

o, Toby, let's praise Him for that! 

He did an amazing work, making you! --can you see?

your frame, your structure was never hidden from Him.

no matter the circumstances of your development, 

the circumstances of your birth,

the moment you were conceived - He said "Yes!" 

his eyes watched over every step of your gestation, 

little Tobin Rasul Rinatuly.

and before you were even born that day, 

He had already written down Your whole life.

in the most precious book He keeps,

He declared, "Toby, you belong."

o, Toby, aren't God's thoughts towards you amazing?!!! 

they're so many--well, you and i couldn't even count them

if we started tomorrow through the rest of our lives! 

can you believe they're more than the sands on the beach??? 

but the best is, when you wake up tomorrow

--no matter where you are-- 

you'll still be right there with Him.

Toby, let Him search You...

let Him know every anxious thought you have.

let him see even your darkness, pain, or sadness...

He knows it already ...

and then He'll lead you in the way that leads you to Life. 

Forever.

love, 

mommy