home

we are home! oh boy, well, it would take me a lot of time to catch up here on the past week, and i want nothing more than to do that! but considering that now, 10 p.m. Friday, is the first time in 24 hours that i have had free to decide what to do with my time (my new reality!) i will just post a few pics and say a few words.

it's good to be home with daddy. it is so good to feel the support of the other half of this new venture - parenting. though this is the strangest, probably hardest, thing i've had to adjust to yet - it also promises to be the richest, and i'm so glad to share it with rob. he was amazing today...ever present with Toby and me, doing the daddy thing, playing and bonding with his son, helping mommy, learning the poopy diaper thing, hanging in there with the crying, and just being all around PRESENT in this new little family. i am so grateful he will be home for the whole week; i'm going to need that moral support to gird up for when he goes back to work and it's just the two of us!

i'll save reporting on the trip home for another time, but some of the highlights (and lowlights?) of last night/today:

- Toby completely surprising us and not saying BOO about the carseat. after continual fights re the seatbelt on the plane, he settled into the new carseat, JUST FINE on both the drive home from Chicago last night and today to the store, smiling whenever i looked at or spoke to him. who knew? will it last? we'll see.

- after sleeping for hours in the airport and all the way home, Toby really came alive when we got home at 10. he was ooing and ahhing and pulling out his new toys, and seeming to have so much fun. the first thing he did in our living room was grab a book and plop his little behind down on daddy's lap. yay for re-bonding with daddy...

- the first cry-yourself-to-sleep session in mommy and daddy's bed. poor rob, i thought. now he gets to go through the horrible stage of becoming immune to the screams. it's not that i'm immune to them - but, i have definitely had to toughen up in the past week. it was 1:30 when we finally declared he'd stayed up long enough; and if i hadn't gone to bed then i think i would have died, it having been over 40 hours since i had had more than one or two hours of sleep together. but, fortunately, he didn't cry for long, and he only woke up once during the night. we were able to rock him back to sleep without too much trouble. when he woke crying a 2nd time, we could tell he was bright-eyed and awake for the count--rats! but then we looked at the clock and realized it was 7 a.m.! i guess we couldn't hope for better than that on the first night back. :-)

- a day of firsts: first breakfast together at home, first bath with daddy (in the new bathroom at that!), first stroller ride (the mommy-try-to-get-Toby-down for a nap the traditional way was a failure) and the first trip with Daddy and mommy to Wal-mart! he did famously on that one.
it was so strange finally being the one with a little kid at the store. secretly, i felt kinda like a phoney! like someone would call me out and say "a-ha! that's not really your kid!" and then i would say, "you doggone better believe he's my kid, buster!!!" :-D it's fun to see all the adoring looks Toby gets. i think he thought the whole experience rather strange. ;-p

- a marked lessening of enthusiasm for eating! i guess he's learned that now that he's not at the BH, he doesn't HAVE to eat, and he'll still get food. he eats a little, then plays. usually, at some point he pushes his food away, but then if i feed him with the fork/spoon, he seems somewhat open to that (which i'm very happy to do; hey, i missed out on two years.). it's so interesting. it's been a strange, big couple days for him though--with all the flights, strange sleeping patterns, and weird food; we'll see how things shape up in the coming weeks. he was such a beautiful eater those first few days, i hope he doesn't lose that. 

- a 2 1/2 hr nap for Toby (which also translated into a MUCH needed 2hr nap for mommy!) rob had to take him out in the stroller, but it worked well. of course we don't remove him after he falls asleep. poor little guy, having to sleep in that position. but he was a much happier boy after that, and still managed to show signs of sleepy by around 7:30 tonight. i let him stay up till 9, and it didn't take him as long (hence, less screaming) to fall asleep, so that's encouraging. so at 9:15 i'm confronted with this lovely feeling of--now what do i want to do? unpack? clean up one of the huge messes that have accrued today? hang out with rob? get online? ALL of it.  i will have to talk to you moms sometime and find out how you prioritize your precious free time.

that above all has been the hardest adjustment for me, both here and in Almaty: that Toby wants/needs to be near me at all times. if we're all playing nicely, and i get up to get something, it's "momma!" and he comes after me. it's terribly sweet. but it's not easy for me to adjust to...and with severe lack of sleep over the past week, at times, it was almost all i could handle.

however, when he looks at me and smiles, i forget how hard it is. thank you God.

so overall, we feel like the first day home went well. three were rough points - for Toby and for us - but gee, what can one expect? i keep reminding myself of what he's been through this week, and of what i have, and what Rob's going through right now. it is the hugest transition, a huge jolt to the system, and no matter how long we've waited for it, read, or tried to prepare, you can't really prepare for these things. we just have to live it. and we love our little boy and are so glad that we have him. but i think we both would admit he's way more active and willfull (in a normal 2 yr old way) than anything we saw from him at the baby home. so it's just gonna take us a little bit to figure out this parenting thing.

ahhh, the house is so quiet, sounds so good. the dishes are done (thanks  to rob, while i put Toby to bed) and at least a few things are put away. i have been able to post something on the blog, and now i get to crawl into bed with my wonderful hubby, with a precious sleeping child in the room next door. now, at the end of this special "first" day, i can say --it was a very good day.

i guess photos will have to wait. :-)