...and away we go!!!

yep, visas are in hand, bags are packed. in about 4 hours, we'll be on that plane.

and in the middle of it, a bunch of guys are here tearing apart our bathroom! (i had to shower at the neighbors today ;-p) but now worries - i'm thrilled that when i come home with Toby, we'll have a beautiful, clean and shiny new bathroom. and i'll save all those exciting "before and after" photos for another post. just thought i would explain the tools and wet vac in the background.

it's finally feeling real. the past several days have really been...surreal. almost like i've been just going through the motions...getting everything ready...but not feeling quite in touch with seeing Toby again. and then last night as I spent my final evening at home alone with rob, I even felt the pangs of sadness...i can't believe it... this is it! it will never just be US again! -- i mean, what's THAT? we've been waiting and preparing for this for two years, and we couldn't be happier! but yet, i felt sort of...sad. sad for the end of this era...sad that rob won't be coming with us on this trip.

i knew, however, that i was only feeling grateful for what has been on the eve of what's yet to come. i was a little sad that rob wasn't come with me to share this leg of the journey. and as we spent some time praying together, i was so grateful for the wonderful man that my husband is. i'm so glad i'm not "going it alone."

i can't wait to see what life as three is like, what life with Toby Rasul is like. I can't wait to see how loving this little guy opens up our hearts to loving each other and others--MORE. it has to be thus, doesn't it? that as you give more love, you learn more love, have the capacity for more love, and then in turn have even more love that needs to find it's recipient somewhere?

so i'm glad for the end of this era, the end of "just us two". it's a healthy thing. and as my mind raced back and forth from 4-6 a.m. this morning, when i finally gave up and got up--my mind faced nothing but forward, and such a SWEET HAPPINESS was filling me. I AM SO HAPPY to get to go back to Kaz and get OUR LITTLE BOY! and on top of it, even just to see the wonderful friends that we have made there and to share the experience that so many other adoptive families have had before.

so, yeah, i guess it's like being on the drive to the hospital; there's NO turning back now. ;-]

see you all from the other side of the world.