day 3: doctor visit - phew!

how can it be that we've only been here three days and yet it feels like a week? well, i suppose when you are awake for half the night, the day just seems longer! ;-p actually, i'm grateful that i got my best night's sleep yet last night - i think i was probably only awake for an hour, although i woke up several times. at least my alarm awoke me this morning; this has got to be the first time i'm happy to have an alarm wake me up! 

after our marvelous breakfast downstairs (have i mentioned yet how GREAT it is to return to the Shiny River buffet? i just love it. and i don't know what the deal is here, but i always lose weight when i come to kazakhstan, even though i eat like a horse for breakfast. no, i didn't say i eat  a horse--we did that last time and will probably refrain this time--i just eat a lot. :-]) ok, so anyway, back to my sentence (talk about run-ons!) we left early for our visit. at this point we are piling twelve people into a little van: our three families, a German couple, two translators, plus Bulat, our big-hearted driver. i don't actually know Bulat has big heart - but he seems like such a quiet, gentle guy, i figure it's gotta be true.

so we met with Little R's doctor, and that went very well. it was pretty straight-forward this time round. we don't know a lot of details about the first ten months of his life, but we did learn what town he was born in, so maybe we'll travel out there during our trip (i hope). Little R seems to be a pretty healthy little guy, on the small side for his age, but nothing to worry about, i don't think. they seem to be quite fond of him, telling us he's the best of the baby home.( i have come to believe though, that they say this about every kid. and well they should! :-) i don't think there is anything we could have heard today that would have deterred us, but it is soooo nice to have all the info now and to feel ready to move forward with our decision - yay!

they did tell us that he's a calm child, but very cautious around strangers. it was kind of good to hear this, as this is very obvious to us; he always cries this pitiful little cry when they first bring him in - and it's now wonder, because these little kids spend most of their lives with the same ten children and 10 or 15 caregivers, so who wouldn't be scared when suddenly they're brought out into the hall and there's all these weirdo foreigners ogling over them and speaking in strange tongues. i imagine R has a reserved/cautious  personality anyway, so, considering the circumstance, it's not that surprising. 

today the caregiver walked him into the room where several families were already meeting. he was crying and just looked so scared and pitiful! so at that point, i just allow all my long-repressed mommy instincts to take over and i swoop down on him to rescue him, and i just hold him to me to comfort and soothe him. (now, i have NO idea that this is doing anything for him, but BOY does it ever feel good to me! ) he cuddles right into me though, so at least he's not resistant. and his crying never lasts long - i think it's just his first-response to an unknown situation. 

we played with a noisy pull toy today. i think he was interested in it, and he just pulled it along obediently, but i'm not really sure he stayed interested that whole time! we didn't get so many of those little corner smiles today, so maybe he was a little more stressed than yesterday. we got our the crayons today, and he's really pretty good with holding them. he drew straight line after straight line, but again, i'm not so sure he stays interested in the activity as long as he keeps doing it... 

sighh...i just wish i knew how to help him to feel comfortable so he could enjoy himself and free his curiosity. sometimes i wonder if maybe he wasn't treated well earlier in his life, and so he feels he needs to just be careful and obedient and only play with what's put before him. we are already crazy about him, but of course we want him to be happy! but we just have to be patient and give him all the time he needs (which might be all the time in the world) to be comfortable with us and his surroundings. i'm sure that will be much different when he's used to us, when he's used to his home, etc.

when we took him back to his main room, we waited for a little bit out in the hall. there's a fish tank out there (i remember taking A to look at it last winter) and i took him right up to it . when he saw the fishy he got kinda mesmerized and smiled the biggest smile i had seen yet, then he made a kind of "oh" face and let out a little happy gasp - it was so precious! it's like he forgot himself for a moment and got caught up in something; i know it sounds crazy small, but it was so encouraging to us! he's our little turtle, and he's just gonna take some time to be able to come out of his shell. we'll give him all the time he needs. :-) 

once he was safely delivered to his "home room" he seemed so much more at ease; he waved to us and smiled and motored around more freely with the other kids. So good to see him there. but i still think he is just reserved or shy by nature. I think tomorrow we're going to ask if we can do our bonding in the little room right off the side of that room along with another family who's bonding with another boy from his room so he doesn't have to experience all the trauma of going downstairs; i think that would make a big difference. i think we'd also enjoy having the bonding experience with the "fleggetts" like we did last year with the sarsams - Little R and their little guy can be buddies! we can also share our kazakh translator that way, which just makes sense. 

every day when i leave him i just hold him close, and i don't really want to leave. things are so different this time around - we both reflected about this today. we feel so blessed to be matched with this precious little boy - he is so special, and we feel so ready to love him. and i guess because of this, everything else just feels better too; we feel like this time around we can get out and enjoy Ust - our spirits feel so "light" - this stands in such contrast to our conflicted and anxious feelings last time...

God, you have always been good to us - because you are good. You have always kept us in your care and provided what we needed, and the strength for whatever we faced. But what we're experiencing now is SO sweet...did you know this all along? i don't really know how to say thank you...i was hoping for this --but i hardly even knew how to ask it of You...my heart is full...

 here's a couple other pics so you don't think baby is ALL we're thinking about and doing ;-p...

we went to a big costco-like store today. here are rob and mitch perusing the tantalizing display at the deli, trying to look like they actually know what they are looking at.

here's rob, standing by the cheesy christmas display at the costco-like store just before the gestapo stopped us from taking photos. ;-p  (i.e., one of the store guys came up and shook his finger to picture-taking. this is something i'll never understand in foreign countries.)

 

we got a Kazakh translator today! this will be great since Kazakh is mainly used in Little R's room. she's just lovely and her name is just gorgeous. but, since we can neither pronounce it or remember it, she said we should call her Ayana. and it's a good thing i wrote that down b/c i'd never remember it either. ;-p aren't kazakh people just beautiful?