last week, part 2: christmas eve and final goodbyes

friday was Christmas Eve, and, incidentally, our last visit to the baby home. we took the rest of our caregiver/baby house gifts, as well as a couple of gifts for Toby to open. 

 

 this is "toby turtle" - a name we gave this stuffie as a means of introducing Rasul to the name Toby, since we've only called him Rasul. and also because the "turtle" metaphor  has been kind of special to us. back a few months ago, a good friend who was closely involved in the prayer process with us throughout the adoption sensed God saying our little boy would be like a turtle - taking a little time to come out of his shell. this has been SO TRUE of Toby and was so comforting to us, especially during those first few days when he was so shy and we could barely get a smile out of him. :-)

 

we also got a couple of cute little emergency vehicle cars. but honestly, his favorite was probably sticking his head in and out of the gift bag. ;-p

mommy just can't keep her hands off yer cute little head, kiddo. ;-)

here we are with the Baby House director after giving her our gift. we really liked this lady, she seemed very serious but very caring about the kids, and we saw her much more than we ever did the director last year. she also invited all of us to email photos of the kids back to the baby home, which is great! Toby was crying here because he thought he had to go to her, he doesn't really know her and he gets so stressed with strangers - poor little guy!

 protecting his turf from two other little cuties in the bonding room, who were, by the way, very polite!

 toby enjoying a ride with froggie--whom we actually realized half-way through the trip was a hippo, not a frog--and toby turtle. he was so cute that day, had this permanent little half-smile on his face.

with Ayana, one of our translators, just before saying bye to toby. 

you can see i'm already starting to lose it.

 i stole a last photo of expressive sammy on the way in to rasul's room. 

(i think he's looking for his mommy, karen!)

our final shot with Toby, just before releasing him to the lions. i say this because we gave him a little play cell phone, which he carried into his room, and immediately all the kids in his room pounced on him trying to get his toy. i stood by helplessly, already in tears anyway from saying goodbye, as i watched him hold his own and keep his toy. then another little boy pushed him over and the cell phone flew out of his hand and another kid got it and he started to cry a little and, BOY did my mommy instincts flare up - i just wanted to rush in there and run interference! but another part of me was proud that he was trying to hold his ground, because any time we'd seen another kid try to take something from him, he never resisted. anyway, the caregiver took the toy back and gave it to Toby, and that was my final image of him. poor little sweetie! 

we just hope he will not forget us...everyday we wonder if he turns to the door whenever a new person walks in, thinking it's us. that's the hardest thing. but many, many other families and kiddos have survived this, and so will we.