OK, i was hoping to do some posting this afternoon, but we spent most of our afternoon running around the market near Daniel video in -22 F degree temperatures (that's NEGATIVE, mind you!) shooting video and getting last minute gift.
it's stinkin' cold! your nose hairs freeze, your eyelashes freeze and then thaw all wet once you're inside. i bought leather fur-lined boots here, bought a fur sole for them, wore tights AND long johns and socks, and still, my toes FROZE this afternoon. we had to go into the indoor meat market to get me warmed up enough to go back out for the walk home. insane!
BUT, in the meat market, with the help of my dictionary and a lot of gestures and three different kiosk attendants, we were able to find canned horse meat! HA! so some of you may be getting an interesting post-Christmas stocking stuffer when we get home. ;-p
i have so much i want to write about Toby. he is just so precious. he is so sweet and gentle! today when i went to pick him he tottered happily over as usual, but when i lifted him to my arms, he just looked at me and smiled, keeping my gaze way longer than he has before. it was wonderful!
in the hall, however, the baby home director came by and began talking to him. at first he was OK, but as she engaged him longer, you could just see him start to shut down. i wanted to say, ok! that's enough! but, just like the social worker, they all try to make this friendly conversation with the kids to get them to communicate or respond, but the kids don't really know them. eventually, i just saw him shut down; his face wrinkled downward into that pitiful scared cry as he buried his face in my shoulder.
i have seen this happen so many times now! i just held him close and comforted him, and once we got in the room and met daddy, he brightened right up and was just fine. now, why do they have to do that? i have realized, he does OK with strangers for a moment -but when they pay too much attention, continuing to speak to him longer than he is comfortable and trying to evoke a response from him, he just shuts down and gets so scared - i can see that it's a total instinctive defense mechanism for him.
i can just see how this is going to go when we come home with him. yikes, i'm really going to have to run interference. i'm going to have to coach people at home to just be around him a while and let him warm up before they overwhelm him with attention or demand attention from him. when i see that happen to him i just want to hug him and hold him so close and comfort him and protect him from everybody- and that seems to be exactly what he wants. but i just hope that with time and our constant care he will become more confident and less on guard with strangers. it makes me just wonder what is going on in his little mind.
he's our little turtle. Toby Turtle. he is so comfortable and safe with us now; everyday we see him open up a little more, smile more, laugh more easily. he has a cold now and is coughing a little (i'm amazed it didn't hit him till this week, as it seems every other kid in the home is sick) so he was a little more listless and unsure what he wanted to play with. but even then, he's never been whiny or cranky. i just kept wanting to try and make him feel better - i now understand how hard it must be as a parent to watch your kid suffering and not be able to help them. ;-(
we only have two more days with him; i can't believe it. i dread that final moment. he'll toddle contentedly back to his room, but i'll be a mess. hopefully his caregivers will honor our request to show him our photos in the little photo book we're leaving for him. tomorrow we will take them their gifts, and on Friday we are going to take fruit and cookies for the kids in his room. we thought we would also get Toby a little Christmas gift that he can rip open, since he LOVES to open and peel things. after all, it will be Christmas Eve.
well, sadly, the Fleggetts left yesterday. we miss them already. but we've been enjoying getting to know two new families: the Kellys from Tennessee, Chris and Cindy, and Bonnie (I don't even know her last name) from California. i notice how eager all us veterans are to show them the ropes and "tell them how it is"! there must be something inherent in going through this whole journey that makes you want to share the wisdom you've learned with the newbies. i find myself chuckling inside at times as we all rally to tell them all our discoveries, from where you can buy this or that, how you can keep your room less dry, what you should order at a particular restaurant, how you say this or that word in russian -- just all sorts of things. maybe it makes us feel that we have actually accomplished something, survived something, learned and grew...all of which are true! but also, i think we just want to help in handing off the best experience we can to the next folks. we do wish the best for each other. it's an interesting sense of commradery, and commonality, that we all find with each other.
tonight we took a taxi with bonnie, one of the other AP (adoptive parents) who arrived this week, to Doner for kabobs. somehow, this was rob and my first time there, which is probably a shock to other Ust veterans - not sure how that has happened! tomorrow night we're going to try to coax the rest of the gang to join us at Caffeiro, the Internet Cafe. we remembered eating there last time and liking it.
have to figure out something special to all do together our last night here, Christmas Eve.
and i know everyone is waiting to see a photo of the little Mr. i was hoping to sort through some photos and do the great "reveal" here on the blog today, but with all the gift preparation today and tonight, i just haven't had time. so if you came here to see Toby today, you're outta luck!
well, i have to have some carrot to keep drawing you here reading my blog, don't i? ;-p
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