Had a great talk with Dave and then later last night with Rob about spiritual questions like, could Noah's family alone really have repopulated the earth, and does everything really happen for a reason and, does God really ordain bad things to happen? -- To the latter, I have never thought so--at least, not all bad things. It cannot be God's best and His desire when people sin, and certainly He respects free will...Yet, somehow, He is sovereign and is able to do whatever He wants; He would have the power to intervene in any and all situations, yet He doesn't. And, we know from the His word that at times He does move the wills of people and nations to accomplish destruction that suits His purposes.
You can really wrap your brain up tight trying to understand these things, and for the most part, I don't spend a lot of time trying to work them out. But every once-in-a-while I wish I better understood these things. I hear myself or others say "oh, everything is going to work out just like it was supposed to,"...really? Everything always works out like it is supposed to? If you push that out, it doesn't really make sense... it doesn't leave room for disobedience and sin, which we all know is rampant in us humans. I believe, rather, that God is always good and worthy to be trusted, and in His goodness and mercy He works good out of all things. To me, that doesn't translate to everything that happens is good. Maybe the difference is a fine line, but it is a difference nonetheless.
I guess I'm asking these questions because soon I'm going to be a mom, teaching her little child what is truth and what to believe. This has been weighing on me this week. While I was raised in a rather conservative home where most things were laid out as black and white, I'm not sure I live there anymore. Rob and I are asking ourselves some hard questions as to where do we actually live? I do NOT want to raise our son with some wishy-washy faith where everything is relative and you make up your own mind; what good is that? Still, I don't want him to be scared to think, ask, wrestle, and engage others in their questions. I don't want the fear of asking questions and seeking understanding, and even acknowledging that everything isn't clear and easy--to have to threaten the basic belief that the Bible is God's word to us and is true, that God is our creator, and that Jesus' death and resurrection bring us our salvation...
Dave encouraged me today not to stop wrestling, asking...that this in and of itself is the journey. When you stop asking and resign yourself to a "well, I don't really know; I guess you can just never be sure about anything" attitude, you risk having your hands tied; you risk debilitation where you can't move forward or offer anyone anything, where everything is relative and up for grabs. "If I can't prove that this is true, then nothing must be true." At that point, you are just one step or one generation away from losing faith altogether.
I pray for the Lord's guidance. I pray that the Spirit who guides us into all Truth will guide us. There are certainties and absolutes: God is absolutely good. He is absolutely love. Jesus is absolutely His Son and, in fact, God. Salvation, the resurrection, our need to respond to God, God's presence through the Holy Spirit - we can't budge on these. I will teach these to our little boy. We will read the Bible with him and help him memorize Bible verses. We'll pray together. But, whether it's a literal six, 24-hr day creation? whether all the nations really came from Noah's family or not and whether the flood really covered the whole globe (during a time when the writers didn't even know the size and expanse of the earth) --these are just not deal breakers. To regard them with respect and awe but not necessarily have to adhere to their literal accuracy in order for them to speak to us (if they were even meant for that purpose), isn't this the point? What is God trying to tell us about Himself? --isn't that the point? And to perhaps be OK with an understanding that some things that happen are not God's will and indeed sadden His heart--I don't believe this in any way lessens a sure belief in His sovereignty, wisdom, and authority.
Nor sure where all that came from. I guess I just wanted to share a some of my inward spiritual wrestling because it is a real part of the journey. I'm so thankful for God's gentle and loving presence in our lives and that indeed we have nothing to fear. That's a reality in which to take stock as we look forward to this awesome responsibility of raising one of His precious little children as our own.
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