good steps forward

well, FedEx came through and finally delivered my laptop today. i was quite annoyed Friday when i came home to find a sticky note on the door, saying it could be picked up in South Bend that evening between 6:30 - 8, OR they would try again to drop it off on Monday. Arggh!

i suppose i should be glad that they don't just drop them off on the front steps when any curious neighbor or passerby could see and collect a free laptop. but what does bug me is you don't know when they are going to come by; and even if you did know - it's not always possible to rearrange your schedule to be home. and the consequence for me in this case was waiting another THREE days for my laptop.

however, i lived; and actually, i think i thrived. there was something nice about NOT having to lug the thing around throughout the week, about spending more time at my church job just connecting with my coworkers, and about working downstairs on rob's computer, which is always on, and having the kitchen NOT be my workspace. i may have to rethink my work patterns...

we also received our a new USCIS approval with updated fingerprint dates on it today, yay! actually, this isn't the last piece we need. last week i sent in a request for the free extension of our I-171h, complete with a freshly updated homestudy, so we'll receive yet another new extended approval in the coming weeks (we trust). i think we'll start the ticket process this week and the visa application process in another couple weeks. so things are moving along. :-]

i don't think it's hitting me yet; we are now less than two months away from meeting our little boy. it's strange this time around...i'm so calm. it's so much more a matter of "fact" than a matter of emotion.

i'm sure this is some form of protection that either i have subconsciously donned, or that God has given me. either way, it is nice, and i much prefer it to the feelings of last year. sometimes i think it would be nice to have that same exhilaration - but more of the time, i'm glad to simply feel calm and grateful to be headed back soon.

part of it is probably just the fact that the whole process is NOT a big unknown to us; we know what it feels like to pack, be enroute to k-stan for two days, arrive in country, stay at the Shiny River, and we even know that queasy feeling of sitting in the Director's office at the baby home waiting for a caregiver to bring in your little child -- or at least, the child you have prepared to meet. (and i'm sure when that moment finally comes, i won't be feeling very calm anymore. ;-p)

on Saturday we went to a very helpful adoption seminar at Maple City Chapel. we were hoping it would be more than some cursory "we're glad your here to learn more about adoption. there are two different kinds of adoption blah blah blah..." -- and we had agreed we'd leave quickly if it looked to be that elementary. it wasn't. Sherrie Eldridge, an author and adoptee herself, shared much of her own story, as well as many tips/much encouraging counsel to us as adoptive parents. i think for me, her counsel was weightier because she speaks from the point of view of one adopted.  

we found out about a lot of great resources, but I think the one thing that will stand out most in my mind is her straight-forward exhortation that we be completely honest from the get-go with our adoptive children - about everything we know - the good, the bad, the ugly. This isn't the first time i've heard or read this, but this was definitely the strongest i'd heard it stated.

i was glad also to have many of the things i'm reading about now in The Connected Child and Toddler Adoption: the Weaver's Craft reiterated. it certainly wouldn't be very settling to hear someone say just the opposite of what you've been reading about. at some point i do think we'll pick up a few of her books, including
20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed, and 20 Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew, and a really great children's books she's written called Forever Fingerprints. 
We both left the day really encouraged.  

rob and i have resumed our "Tuesday night adoption prep" nights again. last week we took a Behavior Management Style analysis, which was really quite amusing. we were assured at the onset that no answers were wrong, that it was simply to help you identify your "style" for dealing with behavior. it was pretty humorous though. we kinda looked at each other dumbfounded as we were presented with scenario after scenario of "what would you do ifs" - (things like, "your toddler screams and refuses to put on their pajamas each night; would you do a) b) or c)..." - like we know!! usually we could rule out one answer but vacillated on the other two options, with it "depending" in our minds on any set of qualifiers.

we had a good laugh. if nothing else, the survey could prove to be a great resource: we'll run around the house after our newly adopted toddler with the printed-out survey attached to our elbows so we can "look up" optional responses whenever each new scenario presents itself in real time. :-]

one good thing, at least, was that we almost ALWAYS agreed. sigh...let the ride of our life begin!! :-D